How You and Your Partner Sleep Can Reveal A Lot About Your Relationship

Whether you and your partner are fearless ‘snugglers’ or aloof ‘loose spooners,’ both of your sleeping positions can reveal a lot about what’s going on behind-the-scenes in your relationship!

Here’s what top psychologists and body language experts have to say about why we co-sleep the way we do…

  1. Those Tangled Webs

    If you and your partner keep each other VERY close, even after you’ve drifted off to dreamland, it is usually a sign that you have just started a very new relationship, one that has yet to be tested beyond the requisite ‘honeymoon period’.

    While there’s nothing sweeter than a fresh courtship, carrying on this behavior past that time could, according to psychotherapist Elizabeth Flynn Campbell, indicate something more serious. Campbell says, “The [couple] could be overly enmeshed, too dependent on each other to sleep apart.” We can see that!

    Another classic entanglement is the ‘hooked leg’, when one party clings to the other by the foot. If this particular nocturnal behavior is coming from one person, then it could mean that he or she is not getting the attention that they need. Now, if BOTH are doing it, then it surely indicates that each party cannot get enough of the other.

    Although these various ‘tangles’ could signify that you and your honey may be on the verge of becoming a bit TOO close, it can also mean that you guys are just trying your best to keep things copacetic.

    A study performed by Professor Richard Wiseman from the University of Hertfordshire revealed that 94% of couples who cuddled like this while sleeping considered themselves to be in happy relationships. Makes sense!

  2. The Various Spoons

    It doesn’t get more classic than this position. On top of being super comfortable, ‘spooning’ allows for some serious trust-building, especially in new relationships.

    Body language expert Patti Wood says that, for the ‘little spoon’ this particular sleeping arrangement is “a very vulnerable position that’s sexual, but says ‘I trust you.’” If you are more of a ‘big spoon’ type, then you are likely protective of your partner, and maybe even a bit possessive.

    Over time, it’s only natural for the thrill of sleeping in the same bed to wear off a bit, so often ‘the spoon’ loosens. Now, this doesn’t mean that you or your partner are less interested. On the flip-side, it could just be a sign that both you and your special guy or gal are relaxing into the relationship. Nothing wrong with that!

    Of course, there are times when one person may not want to partake in said ‘spooning’, but the other doesn’t seem to get the hint. Samuel Dunkell, author of “Sleep Positions: The Night Language of Body” claims that this could mean that the person who has retreated to the other side of the bed is playing ‘hard to get’. It could also just mean that they simply want to be left alone—sheesh!

  3. Rooms Apart

    Are you and your husband or wife part of the one and four married couples who choose to sleep in separate beds? It may not be something that you readily admit to your BFFs over a glass of wine, but, as it turns out, this behavior is becoming more and more prevalent.

    While the idea of sleeping independently may seem like an indication that the relationship is doomed, Manhattan-based psychologist Dr. Amanda Zayde stresses that the decision could end up being quite pragmatic. She says, “Sleeping in separate beds is a practical decision, made with ultimate goal of both partners having a good night’s sleep.”

    And, as we all know, a good night’s sleep can help us all show more patience and respect towards our partners. Maybe all of those classic 1950’s television couples had the right idea. Ricky and Lucy FTW!

While none of these positions are necessarily backed by any types of scientific studies (i.e. just because you partake in ‘illegal spooning’ doesn’t automatically mean you’re needy), it’s not unreasonable to surmise that many couples can completely relate—we know we can!

Now that you know all about what these sleeping positions may mean for your relationship, we want to hear from you! Do you identify with any of the behaviors on the list? Do you and your partner take the ‘Rooms Apart’ approach? How have your co-sleeping habits changed as your relationship has evolved?