Mom Wants to Know If She’s in the Wrong for Not Wanting to Cook Special Vegan Meals for Her Daughter
Question: What would you do if only one out of your three children didn’t eat animal products? Would you cook a special vegan meal for them, or force them to join the family with their meat-eating tendencies?
One mom questioned how much of a jerk she was on a recent Reddit post in the subgroup “Am I the A**hole?” when she asked this exact question.
The mom explained that she and her partner have a 15-year-old daughter and two young sons, but that the daughter “has recently decided she wants to be vegan,” she explained. “The rest of my family, including myself, enjoy being omnivores.”
She went on to explain that between her partner working full time and herself working part time plus pursuing a second bachelor’s degree, all on top of being a full-time mom to three, there’s barely any time to cook one meal, let alone a separate one for her daughter.
“Having to have an at least somewhat healthy/balanced meals for 5 people daily already is somewhat of a chore, and we’re on a budget,” she said. “Neither in terms of time management nor money, do I feel like essentially cooking two meals daily is a not a reasonable thing to ask.”
On top of that, cooking vegan meals isn’t exactly an easy task, especially when you’re already so used to cooking meals that include animal products.
“Vegan cuisine just requires a different approach to cooking (different ingredients) etc.,” she said. “Frankly, with all the things going on right now, it’s not high on my priority list to re-learn how to cook. If I would just buy extra vegan food for her, it would certainly dent the budget.”
The mother even adds that she’s tried to reason with hre daughter by offering to make a meat/fish and vegetarian (not vegan) version of each dish. “That way she would not have to eat meat, at least, but we could just keep cooking many of the dishes we already do without much added effort,” she explained.
She even told her that she’d have one “vegan day” where the daughter can experiment with making a vegan dish to her liking for the family.
The daughter wasn’t too happy about it, guiling Mom into thinking she was responsible for accommodating her meal preferences.
So what do we think—who’s the jerk here?
The input from strangers of the Internet is mixed. Some people say that the daughter should be able to make her own meals and the parents don’t need to accommodate her.
“She’s 15 and should be well able to cook for her self and also if she wants to make adult choices then she should have to consider adult issues such as budgets,” someone wrote.
However, other people think Mom’s not being fair here.
“Please don’t make your daughter feel like a financial burden or an inconvenience because of this. It really hurts,” someone said. “Let her know that her values are important and you are proud of her for caring about animals and the environment, because a lot of people lack the empathy to do that and I think that changing part of your life to try and make the world better is really admirable.”
What do you think—who’s being more of the jerk here? We’d love to hear your thoughts on this!