Meri Brown, one of the stars of TLC’s Sister Wives, recently opened up about the lengths she went to in an attempt to save her 33-year marriage to Kody Brown. On the Dec. 15 episode, Meri shared that Kody had given her a detailed to-do list she needed to complete before he would consider working on their strained relationship.

“Kody basically had a list for me to do before we would start working on a relationship,” Meri revealed, shedding light on the challenges she faced. Despite her dedication to fulfilling his demands, their marriage ultimately could not be salvaged.

Meri expressed frustration at the lack of transparency in their relationship, noting that Kody had seemingly made up his mind to end the marriage long before communicating it to her. Reflecting on one of their conversations, she shared, “Kody told me, ‘Meri, I decided this two years ago.’ I don’t think that was fair to me.”

Adding to her frustration, Meri revealed that Kody’s mixed signals left her confused about their future. “He asked me for some specific things,” she explained, “and once I completed that list, he was done.”

Meri now realizes that Kody may have already been emotionally checked out, saying, “I had done everything that he asked of me,” but it still wasn’t enough to bridge the gap between them.

From Robyn While Kody admitted to delaying the official end of their marriage, he claimed he did so out of respect for his fourth wife, Robyn Brown. According to Kody, Robyn urged him to let Meri take the lead in making the decision. “Robyn was like, ‘It’s not right for you to break this off. She has to do this,’” he recounted.

However, Kody eventually decided it was time to move on. “She’s not going to do this, and we’re not safe together,” he concluded, effectively ending their union.

Meri once believed they could salvage their relationship, she has now joined Christine and Janelle Brown in leaving the polygamist family dynamic behind. “There’s just a lot of things that he says and does that have been really, really confusing to me over the years,” Meri admitted, which contributed to her staying with him for so long.

Today, Meri is optimistic about her future. “I feel so much like I’m moving forward,” she shared. “Eventually I’m going to find a guy, and then who knows what after that.”

As for her relationship with Kody, the two maintain a cordial but distant connection. “We’re kind to each other, but we’re not seeking each other out,” Meri explained. “He says often, ‘We’ll be friends,’ and it’s like, ‘OK, we’ll be friendly,’ but it’s not like we’re best friends status or anything like that.”

Though her past with Kody holds both good and challenging memories, Meri is confident they’ve closed that chapter for good. “It was a good time with him,” she reflected. “And now we’re done.”