Can women do everything men can do? Can women have it all (a career and family)? Can women be happy if they prioritize a career and independence over family? The answer is probably different for different women, but Melissa Persling warns that you may believe you can have it all and don’t need a man or a family, but you may end up changing your mind later in life and regretting your life choices.
The New York Post reports that Persling received a lot of negative feedback after writing an essay for Business Insider and blaming feminism for life choices and regrets. The article was titled “I’m 38 and single, and I recently realized I want a child. I’m terrified I’ve missed my opportunity.” She claims people called her selfish. That’s not how she sees it at all.
Persling told FOX News Digital her side of the story. She explained that she got married when she was 20. She made it clear at the time that she didn’t want to have kids or be a typical housewife cooking meals and doing his laundry. She wanted to have a career. He was okay with that for awhile, but after 10 years of marriage, their differences made them decide to get a divorce.
At age 30, Persling swore off marriage and still claimed that she didn’t want children. She believes there are two reasons that she made those decisions. The first reason was that she came from a home where her parents were divorced. The second reason was feminism.
Persling explained, “I feel unbelievably betrayed by feminism.” She added, “I was constantly fed this idea that women can do everything. You don’t really need men. Women can have the great career and have the kids if they like and change the tires and do this. I grew up thinking, men are great but like I can do all the same things.” Now she believes, “Women can’t do it all. We can’t.”
Persling had this epiphany around her 38th birthday. She describes herself as “panic-stricken” believing that she may no longer have a chance to get married and have kids. She explained, “I really thought I’m going to be alone forever. It really scared me.”
As Persling approaches her 39th birthday, she has a different perspective of what brings someone happiness. She explained, “You think you’re happy when you’re doing all these things to make yourself happy. I don’t think you really are. It’s the relationships that make you happy. It’s building something with another person. It’s creating a life with another person, having goals and plans with another person. It’s making other people happy. Making people you love happy. That’s happiness. I really don’t think I will know true happiness until I’m in that place.”
The good news for Persling is that she may be “in that place” in the near future. She reconnected with a man from her past that used to be just a friend. Now she believes he’s “the one.” They’ve even bounced around the idea of marriage.
Watch the video below for more about Persling’s story.
