13 People Share the Weirdest Thing Their Partner Has Said in Their Sleep

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Do you share a bed with a sleep talker? If you do, you probably look forward to bedtime so you can hear all of the strange things that come out of their mouth when they’re dead asleep.

If you’ve never experienced this before, take it from the heroes—the ones who endure this on a daily basis. In a recent Reddit thread, people dish about the weirdest thing their partner has said in their sleep. Here are some of our favorites.

  1. “There’s someone unrolling the tinfoil.”

    She woke up in the middle of the night to find me slowly walking out of our bedroom. Wife: “Are you ok? What are you doing?” Me: “There’s somebody downstairs in the kitchen, unrolling the tinfoil” Wife: “Ooooo-Kay. What’s your plan?” Me: “I’m going to stop them” Wife: “Shall we get a bit more sleep then both go down together?” Me: “Ok.”

  2. I’m holding a baby…”

    My aunt likes to tell the story about her and my cousin sharing a hotel room one time. My aunt woke up having to pee, and found my cousin sitting up in bed with her arms folded across her abdomen, kind of rocking back and forth and giggling quietly. When my aunt asked her what she was doing, my cousin said, “I’m holding a baby and it has an adult smile!”

  3. “I’m petting this fluffy baby penguin.”

    So this one time while my s/o was sleeping, she randomly reaches over and starts to pet my leg softly. When I ask her what she’s doing she looks at me like I’m stupid and says “what does it look like? I’m petting this fluffy baby penguin.” Then pauses for a second, pats my leg again and blurts our “Wait this isn’t a penguin!” I have never laughed so hard over someone talking in their sleep.

  4. “You got the wrong guy.”

    He farted very loudly and proceeded to say, “You got the wrong guy.”

  5. “Have you tried checking out at the cash register?”

    My wife started screaming one night that she was lost in the local grocery store. And that no matter where she went she couldn’t find her way out. I asked her has she tried checking out at the cash registers? She then looked at me and said in her most sincere voice, “that’s why you are the smartest person I know.” And she rolled over and fell back asleep.

  6. “Don’t move.”

    One night, my boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night, tapping me on my shoulder. He put his finger on his mouth, whispered “shush” to me, then pointed at the door and told me “I can hear something, don’t move”. Predictably, I nearly shit my pants. All the worst possible scenarios crossed my mind, and the moment of silence after he shushed me felt like hours. Then, he started waving his hands and talking about tetris, ‘the twirlies’ (idk), and making sure we don’t align… And that’s how I learnt my boyfriend talks in his sleep.

  7. “Did you find your rocks?”

    My girl woke up one night and said “Did you find your rocks?” and I asked her what she was talking about and she said “I don’t know, I’m just trying to make conversation.” and promptly went back to sleep.

  8. “Give me that yogurt!”

    “One time I was still up reading a book and I hadn’t noticed that he was already asleep next to me. Suddenly he bursts out ,”Will you just give me the f*cking yogurt already, Shannon!?” in a flawless British accent and scares the sh*t out of me. We’re both German and none of our first languages include English. We didn’t know a Shannon. He’s lactose-intolerant.”

  9. “Horse.”

    Once my ex said “horse.” That’s all. Just horse. But with a sense of urgency.

  10. “Do I punch?”

    My grandfather was a hard sleep talker , my grandmother has a funny story. One day my grandfather while sleeping was saying, “Do I punch this a**hole?” My grandmother replayed yeah punch him then my grandfather in his sleep punched her.

  11. “TARANTULA!!”

    My wife was an avid sleep talked for a long time and her midnight announcements range from simple single words to elaborate speeches. The ones that really stand out to me are: Waking up in the middle of the night to her suddenly sitting violently up in bed, throwing back the covers, and screeeeaaaaming: “TARANTULA!!” That will make you very awake, very quickly. Whispering my name repeatedly which woke me up so she could share in a hushed, cautious voice: “There is an alligator in here.” When I expressed my concern (playing along) she told me, still whispering, that: “It’s okay. It has been here before.”

  12. “They’re almost here.”

    I was watching TV once when my sister came out of her room, and shoved her pillow in a kitchen drawer. After that she crossed the living room, opened the front door and said “they’re almost here.” She closed the door, and went back to her room. It was my first experience with sleepwalking, and scared the complete shit out of me. As far as I am aware, that is the only incident she has ever had.

  13. “DONKEY KICK!”

    My wife was mumbling a lot and suddenly shouted “DONKEY KICK!” as she kicked me in my shin, so that was fun.

How funny are some of these sleep comments? What’s the weirdest thing your partner has ever said in their sleep?