When one of your friends or family members has a baby, it’s only natural to want to visit as soon as possible—as in, your friend is still in the hospital and probably hasn’t even taken a shower yet prior to birth before you show up. The earlier the better, right?

Maybe for you—it can be exciting to meet the young new member of the family or friend group. But it’s important to think about the mom before you barge into her room at the hospital. Is she up for visitors just yet? This is a question that’s vital to ask before you assume she is and just show up.

Mother of three Katie Bowman has recently shed some light on the topic in her now-viral Faebook post. In it, she posted a photo of herself looking less than thrilled, sitting on the edge of a hospital bed as she stares off at someone holding the baby she gave birth to less than 24 hours before.

“1 or 2 days,” she writes in her post. “Is that too much to ask for? 1 or 2 days for a new mum to come to terms with the fact she had a tiny human emerge from her body. 1 or 2 days for her to finally have a shower and wash the sweat and blood from her body. 1 or 2 days for her to push through the pain of her sore nipples as she learns to breastfeed. 1 or 2.days for her to try to have some sleep because she is absolutely exhausted.”

In a nutshell? New moms are tired. They have a lot going on. Labor was probably really, really tough. And having visitors so quickly can just add to the hecticness when she really just needs some sleep.

“Has everyone forgotten how tolling [labor] can be both on your emotional and physical well-being?” she writes. “The last thing you then want is for everyone to be bombarding your room to play pass the parcel, before you have even had a chance to recover.”

Katie goes on to go into detail about all the painful things new moms endure while guests come in and hold their baby. Your lady parts are in pain (not to mention all your other parts), your nipples are sore from breastfeeding, and to top it all off, you don’t even have time to get in a picture with the new member of the family before others start taking their own selfies.

She also talks about how if a new mom denies visitors so soon, “you’re a selfish, delicate drama queen.” She explains how, “everyone wants the bragging rights to say they saw the new baby within 24 hours,” and “they simply must satisfy their need to hold this new baby.”

The main takeaway? “The next time someone you know has a baby, remember how tired this new mother looks,” she says. “I know you’re excited, but remember it is not your right to visit a new baby, it is a privilege.”

You can view the post in full here.

Are you a mom and can relate to Katie’s points? Do you usually try to visit a new mom within 24 hours or give her some time to recover?