Expecting a child is a truly exciting time. Whether it’s your first or you have multiple already, there’s truly nothing like it. And if you decide to find out what the gender is before having the baby, it can make things feel even more real. You might imagine dressing up a little girl in bows or playing baseball with your son later on in life.

Some people decide to find out the gender of their unborn child at what’s been popularized as a “gender reveal party.” You know the kinds—where you open a box of balloons, which reveals either a pink or blue bundle or cut into a cake filled with pink or blue frosting. There are lots of different ways to find out the gender among family and friends, and then scream and yell at the top of your lungs about whether it’s a boy or girl.

Well, one family decided to host a gender reveal party for their second kid. They already have a -year-old daughter and were excited to find out if she was going to be getting a sister or a brother.

At the party, the couple decided to shoot off sparklers that would burst in either a blue or pink color. The excitement was in the air as everyone gathered for the main event. The anticipation was real.

When the sparklers went off and showed that the couple was having another girl, the unthinkable happened. As everyone cheered and clapped in excitement, the dad of the new little girl walked away. He wrote about his experience in a Reddit thread, asking if he was the jerk for the way he acted.

“I don’t know what came over me but all I felt at that moment was very bitter disappointment,” he explained. “To be honest, all I was hoping for baby #2 is to be able to toss a ball around with him and coach little league. Or watch him go on Boy Scouts camping trips.”

“My wife grabbed my arm as people were approaching us to say their congratulations and said I needed to look happier,” he continued. “At that moment I just snapped. I shook my head and walked out to my car (we came separately) and drove to my sister’s house.”

His wife couldn’t believe what he was doing. Both she and her sister texted him that he was acting the same way as their dad did when he left when they were 10 and 12 years old.

“I felt like that accusation was unfair and that I just needed some time alone,” the man wrote on Reddit. “I didn’t ask to be flabbergasted- it just happened. And I don’t think it’s fair that they would have demanded I smile and nod for the next couple of hours.”

The result of who the jerk is was unanimous from fellow Reddit-ors: Definitely him.

“No one is stopping you from tossing a ball with your daughter, or from camping with them, or encouraging them to participate in sports. You are the one stopping them from this,” someone pointed out.

“Maybe try learning to respect women and girls so you don’t have to be afraid of them. You need therapy,” someone else said.

“You’re welcoming a new child into the world, and already disappointed in this child for something she can’t control,” another person said. “You’re the [jerk].”

What do you think about this dad walking out of his own gender reveal party after being disappointed? What would you do if your spouse did that?