Saturday Night Live alum Victoria Jackson turned on her camera and recorded herself checking to see the results of some medical tests that were done to see if she had cancer. She uploaded the video to her Instagram on August 1st, the same day she filmed it.

In the video, she looks at the camera and explains, “I’m trying to see if my marble that they found in my lung is cancer or not. I cannot understand their words on here, so I’m a little nervous.”

Jackson was looking at her computer screen during the video, reading the official doctor’s report. She continued, “Okay, it says, ‘Non-gynecological cytology final report.'” The report that she was reading was also dated August 1st.

Jackson continued reading the report and came to the news she was hoping not to see. She read, “Malignant cells present.” Then she turned to the camera and said, “I think that means cancer. Okay. Had it before. Been through it before. Jesus loved me through it.”

Jackson continued to process her thoughts out loud. She said, “Oh boy. I think that sneaky little breast cancer thing took nine years to show up.” She added, “So now what do we do?”

Then she yelled at the camera exactly what she would like the doctors to do. She exclaimed, “Cut it out! Just cut it out of me already!”

Then Jackson turned to God, praying on camera, “Dear Lord, I don’t know what to say.”

Jackson ended her video by explaining, “This is what someone looks out when they find out they, when they just find out they got cancer.”

 

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Unfortunately for Jackson, the doctors can’t “cut it out.” In a follow-up video on August 14, Jackson shared an update in a new video she posted to Instagram. She explained that the doctors “cannot operate and cut out the marble in my chest that is laying on my windpipe. It eventually would suffocate me to death.”

Jackson continued sharing what doctors can do for her. She explained, “They’re giving me a magic pill. It’s going to be delivered to my front in the next 12 hours.” She added, “It will shrink the cancer, the tumor, the marble, uh, hopefully.”

Then Jackson shared her estimated life expectancy. She explained that she googled the pill and found that the average life expectancy for people who take this pill is approximately 3 years as opposed to people who took the placebo who lived approximately 2 years.

Instead of being depressed by the news, Jackson said, “I’ve had a fantastic life.”

According to PEOPLE, Jackson was previously diagnosed with breast cancer in 2016.