Man Asks Ex-Wife to Change Last Name So He Can Marry Her Half Sister and Bequeath Last Name to Her


Getting divorced is complicated, especially if you have kids. Besides dealing with financial issues, you also have to figure out how to get along well enough to share custody and coordinate schedules. Then, there’s the issue of the last name.

Many women change their last name to match their husband’s last name when they get married. This is more tradition than anything, but it is definitely helpful when everyone in the family unit has the same last name – mom, dad and children.

Reddit user ThrowRA_Sisters shared that she was married about about a year, and she and her ex-husband have two children together, twins. When she got married, she changed her name to match her husband’s name, and their children have the same last name.

After getting divorced, this Reddit user decided to keep her husband’s last name for several reasons.

I happen to like matching my kids, and also this name sounds better than my pre-marriage name.”

She later explained that her maiden name was “Hoar” and that “It’s pronounced how you think. I’m never going back to that.”

Her ex didn’t seem to mind that she kept his last name, but when he got engaged, his fiancee got involved.

He called me like a month ago to tell me he’s getting married to his girlfriend. Awesome. Congrats to them! But then he said she doesn’t want to share the last name with me, and he wants me to change it. He even offered to pay the legal fees.”

When ThrowRA_Sisters still refused to change her name, the girlfriend called.

“His partner called me the next day and literally yelled in my ear about how I’m not entitled to the last name anymore, how it should be hers now and I need to let go of my attachment to my ex because he ‘totally hates me.’ Also, she doesn’t want her future kids to share a last name with me.”

ThrowRA_Sisters later explained that the history is complicated but the girlfriend is actually her half-sister who has the same maiden name, Hoar.

ThrowRA_Sisters wanted to know if the community thinks she should change her last name or keep it, and the majority seems to think that there’s no reason for her to change her name.

Reddit user archaeoloshe wrote, “My mom got married, divorced after 5 years, and kept her married name to this day while he has since married 2 others and no one has asked her to change it. That’d just be weird. He agreed to give you his name when you married, it’s rightfully yours. And it sounds like she’s jealous already.”

Reddit user Katt_ler agreed writing, “If the new fiancee doesn’t want her future kids to share the same last name with someone else’s kids, she should have married someone without children. Your current last name is legally yours whether she likes it or not, and she’s just going to have to get over the fact that she is the second wife. I wouldn’t tolerate any more tirades from her if I were you. Just hang up next time.”

Who do you think is right in this situation? Would you change your name back to your maiden name if you got divorced?