Grandma Wants To Know If She’s the Jerk for ‘Retiring’ From Taking Care of Grandkids
Parents who have parents nearby are also truly blessed. It is amazing to have loving grandparents who want to watch the kids from time to time.
Some parents are blessed that their parents watch the grandkids for free on a regular basis, almost acting as an extra parent. This is definitely a situation to appreciate but not expect.
One grandmother shared that she used to babysit on a regular basis but has decided to “retire.” Her daughter isn’t taking it well.
The grandmother had children at a young age, and so did her daughter. She wrote, “My husband and I had our kids young (I was 18 when my daughter was born, 21 when I had my son). My daughter ended up getting pregnant at 16.”
The grandmother stepped up to help out with her grandson and felt like she was almost raising a third child. At first, this was because her daughter was so young when she had him and still going to school. She took the little boy to school and watched him afterwards so her daughter could go to college and eventually get a good job. Yet, even after her daughter got married, the grandmother still babysat the grandson.
Grandma shared, “They [daughter and her husband] both worked crazy hours and during the time my husband and I should’ve had ‘us time’, we were basically raising a third child.”
The grandfather (grandmother’s husband) is retiring from his job, so the grandmother wants to retire too. In her case, it’s retiring from babysitting.
The grandson is 18 years old and heading to college, so retiring from babysitting seems like it shouldn’t be a big deal; however, it’s not that easy. The daughter now has a 2-year-old boy and is pregnant with another baby. She has quit her job to be a stay-at-home mom, but she wants her mom to still be available to babysit just in case.
Meanwhile, the grandparents want to sell their home and move hours away. They want the “us time” they never got. Yet, the grandmother is wondering if she should stay close to her daughter’s home to babysit because her daughter is unhappy at the thought of her mother no longer babysitting. She wrote, “I want to be the grandmother that sees her grandbabies and spoils them but is not basically raising them. She got offended and said that this is just ‘what grandmothers do’ and I said not all.”
Reddit users weighed in, and most are strongly in favor of the grandmother retiring from babysitting. One person pointed out, “The needs of a 16 year old mother and a mother in her 30’s are two extremely different things. You went above and beyond for you grandson. You’re at a different stage in life – and so is your daughter.”
Another comment reads, “It’s not hurtful, she’s upset she lost her “get away from the kids” free card. Seriously move where the weather is nicer. Where you and your husband can truly enjoy each other. Do not feel bad. You don’t have to regret or resent a situation to admit that you don’t want to do it again, and you shouldn’t have to. Grandparents are not traditionally the parents of their grand kids, so don’t accept that from her.”
Do you think the grandmother should feel bad about moving and leaving her daughter without a built-in babysitter?