Man Wants To Know If He’s the Jerk For Calling Out Friend Who Doesn’t Help Wife With Newborn

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When you have a baby, ideally, the work to care for said baby is equal between partners. However, many times, because of the nature of how some moms choose to feed their baby, the mom deals with the brunt of it.

That’s not to say dads don’t do anything. In fact, most dads take their role in fatherhood very seriously and want to do everything they can to help out their partner during this time. Many newborns need to eat every 2-3 hours, so many dads choose to get up in the middle of the night with their wives to help feed the baby.

That’s why one friend called out his other friend, who just became a new dad, when he told him that he gets to sleep through the night. The man was pretty confused as to how his friend was getting a full night’s sleep with a newborn at home. The man turned to Reddit to ask whether he was a jerk for calling him out—or was his friend actually the jerk for not feeling bad about getting to sleep.

“I said, isn’t it hard to get sleep with a newborn?,” the man wrote in the post. “And he said ‘my wife deals with night time. I sleep through the night.’ Another friend asked him what that meant — he said ‘I need to sleep because I have work.’ And I said, ‘but don’t most dads help out at night?’ and he said ‘I can’t. I need to be rested for work’ — at this point, all the dads — who have full time jobs, unlike my friend — are laughing and saying things like ‘yeah, so do I. But I’m not sleeping!’”

The conversation continued to go south for the man who doesn’t help out his wife in the night. At one point, the man burst out laughing because he thought it was so comical. “He looks at me like ‘WTF’ and I say ‘dude, you can’t help your wife at night? Like change a diaper?’ and then he seemed to get mad and said ‘I have to sleep to be ready to work in the morning!’”

So—is he a jerk for laughing? Or is the new dad a jerk for not helping his wife at night? Most people say the friend who doesn’t help is definitely the jerk here.

“it’s so outdated for men to act like they don’t need to help with a newborn baby,” someone responded. “I think it’s awesome that another man called him out on it, especially among a group of dads who all agree. It’s extremely misogynistic to think the woman should handle all the tough parts of having a child. She should be able to get some sleep too, poor thing just pushed out a whole ass human being three months ago!!”

“It’s great that you called him out on his BS,” another agreed. “Fathers like him should help out their wives in these kind of situations. Childcare isn’t a one person job.”

“He kinda deserved to get made fun of if he’s gonna be lazy like that. I hope he and his wife can start taking turns with the night shift. Especially since he can set his own hours. He could set them later in the day so he can help out his wife at night,” someone else posted.

Who do you think is the jerk in this situation?