Having a kid when you’re in high school with someone you’re no longer with can be tough, no doubt about it. It certainly is for one 33-year-old male with a 16-year-old son named Mike, who came to Reddit to ask whether he’s being jerk or not for not wanting to live with his son.

“There’s no official custody child support agreement but we do every other week, her house or mine,” the man explains, adding that the boy’s mother just got married and is moving in with her new husband and his twin 8-year-old boys. However, the 16-year-old doesn’t want much to do with any of them.

“Apparently Mike isn’t a big fan of his soon-to-be stepdad and thinks the twins are annoying,” the man said. ”He told me when they move he’d rather just live with me full time and he said he told his mom and she was upset but would let him make his own decision.”

Sounds like he should be flatted, right? Well, he wasn’t. In fact, he was kind of used to his living situation the way it was.

“The thing is I actually enjoy this every other week thing a lot,” he wrote. “I love having my own place half the time. I have a GF who is here probably 70% of the time Mike is at his mom’s but not too much when he’s here just to give him more room. I also have some friends over semi-regularly on the weekends that Mike isn’t here. This setup works for me.”

When he told Mike that he should try giving his stepdad and stepbrothers another chance, it didn’t go so well. “He said he’s going to college in 2 years so he just has no desire for that,” he said. “I really don’t want to mess with the current ‘custody’ situation but then part of me feels like I’m being a crappy dad for that.”

So what’s fellow Redditors think? Is he being a jerk?

Most people say yep. He’s definitely the jerk here.

“Your son comes before your friends. If it’s only two years before college for him, then why don’t YOU suck it up and put your child first?” someone wrote.

“Imagine having your dad tell you, ‘sorry Bud, it’s just that I love not having you around 24/7,’ I’ve kinda got my own thing going on here. That’d be one way to totally rid yourself of the part-time parenting gig I guess,” another person said.

“Part of being a parent is prioritizing your child’s well-being over your own comfort and preferences,” someone else commented. “If your son’s existence is cramping your social life…sorry, but get over it.”

However, there are a select few who think the man was being reasonable. “I think if you let your kids allow to run away every time something new happens in their life you are not good parents,” someone on his side wrote. “You have to learn to adjust. His response was ok. He never said his friends are more important.”

What do you think—is this man a jerk or not?