Dad Wants to Know If He’s the Jerk for Evicting Son and His Pregnant Girlfriend When Son Makes Clear He Prefers ‘Real Father’

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Being a parent is not easy, and parents often second guess the decisions they make. One dad is struggling with a big decision he made. He decided to evict his 20-year-old son and his son’s pregnant girlfriend.

The dad took to Reddit to ask if this decision was a mistake, but first, he provided some context. The dad has 4 children, and when his son was 10 years old, the dad found out that his wife had cheated on him. He got a divorce and he had all of his children tested to find out if they were really biologically his children or not. His three daughters were in fact his children, but his son had a different biological father.

It took awhile for the dad to come to terms with the reality that his son was not biologically his son, but he decided not to treat his son any differently and to continue to love him and provide for him as if they were biologically related. This continued when his son found out that his girlfriend was pregnant. He offered to let his son and girlfriend live with him so that they could continue to go to college without having to pay rent or worry about where their child would live.

Meanwhile, the mom told the son about his biological father, and the two seem to have really hit it off. The dad explained, “Well, my son’s relationship with his biodad really took off i guess. The emotions and.everything all came to a head recently at the childs babyshower wherein he gifted his biodad a shirt that said grandpa on it. Moreover he has started occasionally calling me by my first name even in front of our other kids. He has sort of made it clear to me that biology is more important than the man who raised him.”

In response to his son’s attitude, the dad decided to stop giving his son free rent. Instead of giving his son a baby shower present, he had his attorney draw up an eviction notice, and he gave it to his son at the baby shower. He added, “I told him to go live at his real dads house if he wanted.”

Reddit users have differing opinions about whether or not surprising the son with an eviction notice was a good idea. Many people point out that the dad should have started by talking to his son about the situation. One comment reads, “Some communication could go a long way here. His son is raised by a man for 10 + years who turns out not to be his biological father. He finds out the truth, and that his mom cheated on the man who raised him. Then he’s barred from meeting his biological father until he’s 18 and has to navigate that relationship. Not that this is an easy situation for anyone to handle, but it sounds like the wife and OP handled this pretty poorly and the son is trying to navigate a really difficult and complicated family situation. Maybe actually talking to each other would be much better.”

Another Reddit user wrote, “Does he even know that you are hurt by him not calling you dad anymore? If he has never lived on his own then he has no idea how much he has relied on you. His actions were insensitive but he might have been oblivious to that. But also, serving an eviction notice during a baby shower? During a pandemic?? It seems like you chose the most dramatic time you could to ruin this man’s life. Do you really think of him as your son, while willing to do that? I doubt it.”

Yet, other Reddit users side with the dad. One person wrote, “His son’s actions were NOT subtle and he is no longer a child This is a 20 year old man, about to become a father himself.” The comment continues, “And why is it OP’s responsibility to tell his son that this behavior hurt? If someone punched you in the face a few times are you supposed to stop and go, ‘Hey that hurt, in case you didn’t know’ before you walk away?”

Another Reddit user commented, “He is 20, he’s not a child. You were very kind to let his pregnant gf move in and try to help them keep going to college. But he really seems intent on replacing you as the father in his life with his biological father, and he’s going about it in a really shitty way. If he were to acknowledge how you raised him and you continue to support him like a father, while also getting closer with his bio dad, that would be different. But it seems like he just takes your help for granted while dismissing you as a parent and talking up bio dad.”

Do you think this dad made the right decision or the wrong decision? Do you think the son and father need to talk this out?