If you’ve ever been in an abusive relationship, you know how hard it can be—and how alone you might’ve felt. While outsiders might question why you don’t “just leave” the person, it’s not until you’re in the situation yourself where you can fully understand.

In an attempt to help others understand, as well as help women in the same situation, One woman named Kristy recently shared a series of appalling text messages she received from her (now ex-) boyfriend, Adam. And they’re pretty eye-opening.

A little background: Kristy and Adam were happily married for a while—she even described him as a “kind, loving man.” It wasn’t until she lost weight and got a job that “suddenly I was cheating,” she explained. “I lost weight to get men, I couldn’t buy clothes that fit me after the 80 pounds lost because it showed off my body.”

In the first series of texts, Adam is sending her text after text, demanding to know where she is, what she’s doing and who she’s with—a seemingly typical encounter with him, showing just how much he doesn’t trust her.

In another text, Adam is asking her about her co-worker Tony, who once fixed her tire, and who Adam now sees as a threat. You can see how he sets her up to fail.

The third text is worse than all the rest: Adam openly admits that he “set traps” to ensure that Kristy slept at their place—so when she didn’t, he got pissed (even though she was just at a female friend’s house). He even told her that she has no right to be mad at him!

It gets even worse…not only does Adam verbally abused Kristy, but he physically abused her too. When she went to visit her mother for the first time a while, she had a huge bruise on her arm, even “joking” asking if it was from Adam. It was, but she didn’t tell her that. Take a look below.

Kristy shares a few other texts here.

The good news: Kristy did eventually get the guys to leave Adam. The final straw was when he hurt their dog and cat. “While he was at work, I packed a bag, my pets, and their food and hid at a coworker’s house and called NCIS and the police,” she said. “I spent hours getting bruises photographed, giving my statement, waiting while they put him on restriction. I saw him only a handful of times after, all in court. 3 court dates to get a PO approved, the divorce hearing where he told me if I dropped the charges he’d support me financially, and the two military court dates.”

Now? Kristy is doing great! “I have my own place, a decent job, my pets are doing very well,” she explains.

If you or someone you know is struggling in an abusive relationship, we encourage you to find help! Check out some resources here.